Did You Hear the One About

Coronavirus things to laugh about.

There I was, scrolling through a personal social media account when I saw what I was certain was just one more post telling me how to live my life during the Coronavirus pandemic.

Who needs another set of Coronavirus guidelines? Not me! And, probably not you.

But that word, “maybe” and that question mark in that first line made me pause.

I read.

So should you. It is time for a bit of mirth.

FOLLOW ALL OF THESE, maybe?

Here are the official Coronavirus guidelines:

  1. Basically, you can’t leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then you can.

 

  1. Masks are useless, but maybe you have to wear one, it can save you, it is useless, but maybe it is mandatory as well.

 

 

  1. Stores are closed, except those that are open.

 

  1. You should not go to hospitals unless you have to go there. Same applies to doctors, you should only go there in case of emergency, provided you are not too sick.

 

 

  1. This virus is deadly but still not too scary, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster.

 

  1. Gloves won’t help, but they can still help.

 

 

  1. Everyone needs to stay HOME, but it’s important to GO OUT.

 

  1. There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarket, but there are many things missing when you go there in the evening, but not in the morning. Sometimes.

 

 

  1. The virus has no effect on children except those it affects.

 

  1. Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that tested positive in Belgium in February when no one had been tested, plus a few tigers here and there…

 

 

  1. You will have many symptoms when you are sick, but you can also get sick without symptoms, have symptoms without being sick, or be contagious without having symptoms. Oh, my..

 

  1. In order not to get sick, you have to eat well and exercise, but eat whatever you have on hand and it’s better not to go out, well, but no…

 

 

  1. It’s better to get some fresh air, but you get looked at very wrong when you get some fresh air, and most importantly, you don’t go to parks or walk. But don’t sit down, except that you can do that now if you are old, but not for too long or if you are pregnant (but not too old).

 

  1. You can’t go to retirement homes, but you have to take care of the elderly and bring food and medication.

 

 

  1. If you are sick, you can’t go out, but you can go to the pharmacy.

 

  1. You can get restaurant food delivered to the house, which may have been prepared by people who didn’t wear masks or gloves. But you have to have your groceries decontaminated outside for 3 hours. Pizza too?

 

 

  1. Every disturbing article or disturbing interview starts with “I don’t want to trigger panic, but…”

 

  1. You can’t see your older mother or grandmother, but you can take a taxi and meet an older taxi driver.

 

 

  1. You can walk around with a friend but not with your family if they don’t live under the same roof.

 

  1. You are safe if you maintain the appropriate social distance, but you can’t go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance.

 

 

  1. The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours, no, four, no, six, no, we didn’t say hours, maybe days? But it takes a damp environment. Oh no, not necessarily.

 

  1. The virus stays in the air – well no, or yes, maybe, especially in a closed room, in one hour a sick person can infect ten, so if it falls, all our children were already infected at school before it was closed. But remember, if you stay at the recommended social distance, however in certain circumstances you should maintain a greater distance, which, studies show, the virus can travel further, maybe.

 

 

  1. We count the number of deaths but we don’t know how many people are infected as we have only tested so far those who were “almost dead” to find out if that’s what they will die of…

 

  1. We have no treatment, except that there may be one that apparently is not dangerous unless you take too much (which is the case with all medications).

 

 

  1. We should stay locked up until the virus disappears, but it will only disappear if we achieve collective immunity, so when it circulates… but we must no longer be locked up for that?

 

I do not know the original author. But thank you!

How to take this

My wish for you, dear reader, is that you have enjoyed this jaunt into the comedic side of the unrelenting onslaught of information as well as misinformation concerning COVID – 19.

Now, wash your hands (the proper way) and get back to work. 😉

 

We desire to familiarize you with business concepts, which will make it easier for you to be a better commercial construction subcontractor through our blog posts. Some are new ways of looking at things, and others are refreshers. 

The Profit Constructors Provide Accounting Guidance, Contract Document Management, and Advisory Board Level counsel for small to medium commercial construction subcontractors.

So you can Run With the Big Dogs! Call us 866-629-7735

Safety and Your Construction Crew

Help your construction crew understand safety is for them

Safety counts

The most important tool in your “safety toolbox” is found in the minds of your workforce. Therefore, the first hurdle to overcome is the mindset which incorrectly identifies safety and productivity as enemies of one another.

Consequently, it is your job to make certain your subs and employees understand that safety and productivity walk hand in hand.

From the human point of view, no one wants to see someone be injured or killed. That simple.

In addition, from the stats point of view, when safety measures go unheeded (and someone is injured or killed) productivity takes a hike. Also, that simple.

Safety now

Let’s take it down a level. Remember having this conversation with your children? “Stop that! Someone is going to get hurt!” Then, you hear back, “Nobody has gotten hurt so far.”

Similarly, there are times even adults tend to play the nothing-bad-has-happened-so-far card. You know what I mean, you’ve seen it:

  • Not using PPE
  • Disregarding proper procedure when using or repairing tools and equipment
  • Improperly placing ladders or temporary access apparatus
  • Neglecting to disconnect electrical power
  • Entering unprotected trenches or other spaces

Mark Twain, in Innocents Abroad said, “He cuts a corner so closely now and then . . . that I feel myself ‘scooching.’”

For instance, it’s likely you’ve been on a job site where you felt the need to “scooch.” Removing the scooch isn’t easy, yet it is worth it.

The bravado factor

 

A LiveScience article titled, Why Do People Take Risks, mentions that some “. . . desire to venture past the limits of safety in pursuit of a rewarding experience.” Likewise, in the construction industry, the rewarding experience may be as basic as a paycheck. Or, it could be a misguided attempt to fit in with the crowd or please the boss.

The second hurdle of the safety quandary is the bravado factor inherent in many of the people drawn to the construction industry. Certainly, it isn’t that they have a death wish or a desire to be injured. They often see the risk as less than others might perceive.

Safety is No Accident

Instilling a safety-first mentality in your subs and crews is imperative.

Make certain they understand you want them to stick with safety procedures. Help them see it will help keep everyone (including their fellow workers) safe.

Yeah, I know, safety training can be expensive and time-consuming. That’s because safety is so blasted valuable, in every respect.

Safety story

A rich man needed to hire a chauffeur to transport his dear wife to their beautiful new home. A mountain top home. Therefore, the driving job required great skill as the road to the home clung to the side of the mountain. This single-lane road had an edge with a deep drop to the driver’s left.

The rich man took all three candidates to the site and gave this instruction, “Show me your skill for driving on this treacherous road.”

The first candidate drove slowly, slowly up the hill with his tires only inches from the precipitous edge, in an attempt to prove his skill. He was told he would not be needed.

Subsequently, the second driver took the same route with his tires only inches from the drop. And, eager to prove his skill, drove at a higher rate of speed. He too was dismissed as a candidate.

However, it was the third driver who got the job. He was the only one who drove as far away from the edge as the car would allow.

You get it. Most importantly, be sure your employees get it too.

It is our desire this article (among our growing library of construction-centric informational articles) helps commercial construction contractors build better building businesses. http://www.schulteandschulte.com/blog/

Providing Accounting, Contract Document Management, and Advisory Board Level counsel for small to medium commercial construction subcontractors.

So you can Run With the Big Dogs. Call us! 866-629-7735

 

Important Construction Terms We Just Made Up

Construction Terms we just made up.

Important Construction Terms We Just Made Up

Important Construction Terms – the story

There was this email I received which mentioned The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows and provided a few of the entries. They were:

Adronitis: Frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.

Rubatosis: The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.

Jouska: A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.

I was intrigued . . . especially with that last one, because I practice “Jouska.” All. The. Time.

So, I went looking. And, I found the author, speaking on a Ted Talk.

Hum. What else could I find?

With thanks to John Koenig, author of The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows for giving me the idea of choosing (OK, like him, making up) words. Words which express succinctly today’s commercial construction subcontractor reality.

Really.

Yeah, they’re fake – but they should be real.

Have fun reading these “important construction terms.”

Important Construction Terms – adjectives

 

distalktuousadjective  causing untold long and short-term damage to company operations and employee morale because there is a Lack of Communication

 

cutturlyfuladjective  causing or apt to cause budgetary cuts and bid constraints when met with the Cost of Labor, Materials, and Supplies

 

blameuthargicadjective  of, relating to, or affected with blamergy; unreasonably rash or (conversely) apathetic to the reality of the part integrity plays in completing projects. Sometimes known as the Not-My-Fault Game

 

treventickyadjective  shocked and dismayed by the seemingly endless line of Unreliable Employees and Subcontractors

 

Important Construction Terms – Verbs

 

intenturafulverb  feeling which comes from having all plans and timelines disrupted by weather, or other sources causing multiple Scheduling Problems

 

exasperlatedverb  feeling you have when you turn down yet another opportunity to bid because you are experiencing a Lack of Skilled Workers

 

disbuckulatedverb  to cause feelings of dread and apprehension due to the inability to take advantage of deals or overcome setbacks because of the Lack of Available Cash

 

filetimizedverb  to make as demanding, laborious, and problematic as possible through the insistence of maintaining disorganized (usually hard-copy) paperwork creating Difficulty with Document Management

 

codeshiftrifiedverb  to overwhelm with a set of constantly emerging rules, laws, and restrictions within the construction industry. Also known as Dealing with Ever-Changing Regulations

 

Important Construction Terms – Nouns

 

irriloosesomenoun  the frustration of knowing the impact of frequent changes to the original contract when others seem oblivious to Change Order Overwhelm

 

Have you thought of some words which should be added to this small compilation? Tell us! We want to know.

 

When you stopped in here, you found an Accounting, and Contract Management Firm which provides Advisory Board Level counsel for small to medium commercial construction subcontractors. Doing what it takes to help them Run With the Big Dogs.

You can find out more by getting in touch here or calling 866-629-7735.

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